I was sittin' at home one day watchin' the goddamned Denva Broncos get they asses beat by some whatchawhosit team when they came a knock on the doah.

I says "Who dat?"

And he said "Tha pappa boy."

I says, "Goddammit, what do you want? I'm tryin' to watch the Denva Broncos football team."

And he says "I've come to collect the money fo da pappa."

So, I gets up and go to the doah. I asks him "How much I owes ya?"

And he say "Mmm, about tree-fitty."

I start to get my poise. It's about that time that I realize that this pappa boy stands about tree stories high and has blue eyes.

That's when I say "Damn you loch ness monsta. Leave me alone. What do you need wit tree fitty?"

He say "Well, I'm trying to get to college and I'm a little sho't."

"How much you sho't?" I asks.

And he say, "About tree-fitty's woith."

Now I can understan' how a goddamn loch ness monsta can get into college. They don't even let us black folk have any special priveleges in California.

So, if you ever see a loch ness monsta and he asks you fo' tree fitty, don't give it to him. 'Cause if you give it to him once, he'll keep coming back. Goddamned loch ness monsta.