I was out with the woman today helping her buy some goddamned shoes. You know how womens always gotta be buying shoes? Nevermind they gots a closet full of dem in the closet over there where the closet is. They gots all sorts of shoes and they need another pair. I looks at her and said "Goddamn you woman. How many pairs of the same shoes do you needs?" And she says "But I gots a wedding to go to Saturday. I can't be showing up in the same pair of shows I wo' last week."

Anyways, we was lookin' at shoes, when a sales lady comes up to us and say "May I he'p you?" There's so damned many shoes at K-Mart that it makes your head wanna explode. So, my wife tells her she is looking for a brown pair of shoes to go with the dress she was getting. That took forever finding considering that every 5 minutes they was a different blue light special going on. So, the sales lady shows her some brown shoes. She didn't like them much, so she shows her another pair. She liked them ok, but is they anything better? Anything better? How many goddamned pairs of shoes do you need to look at woman? Pick a pair so I can get back to watching my spo'ts. So, she finally finds a pair she likes. So, I ask the sales lady how much they is. "Well, that pair is 10 dollahs. But this other pair you might like is much cheaper." So, she shows them to my wife. And she liked them. Good lord, first time she ever liked something that was cheaper. So, I asks the sales lady how much they was. She says, "About tree-fitty." It was about that time that I realized that this sales lady was about 7 stories high and had blue eyes. I said "Goddamn you Lochness Monsta. Why do you keep bothering me." Needless to say we will not be shopping at K-Mart anymore. I think I will call they manager and complain about
that goddamned Lochness Monsta.